Yes, that is my current title. At least it feels like it should be my official title since it seems no one in this house can go alone, except Dom( thank goodness.) Though he does need some reminding in the 'put down the seat and replace the empty roll' areas. The kids are potty trained but apparently want someone to talk and sing to while they do their business. As well as the occasional butt wipe assistance. I crowned them 'potty partners' so they could go and entertain each other but this sometimes leads to arguments in which case the escort must step in and diffuse the situation.
Boomer also needs a potty escort. I crowned Copper and Boomer 'potty partners' also but this past weekend, when there were 50mph winds and torrential downpours, he clearly gave me a look that said "You're crazy lady, I'm not going out there. I can hold it." before turning around and walking back inside. So of course the potty escort was called in to action. Now the puppy, who it has taken weeks to learn housebreaking, within seconds learns that it is dry under the umbrella and is suddenly glued to my leg. After much coaxing. I finally managed to get him to go and return inside.
Of course being the potty escort means that everyone also feels the need to escort you to the bathroom. I am convinced that there is a little alarm linked to the toilet that goes off the minute I sit down causing at least one or more children or animals to come rushing to the bathroom door. I have also found that if Boomer is one of those to follow me into the bathroom that he thinks "Well she's going so I better." Not Good.
I think I am done venting now. I am just spending way more time around bodily functions than any one person needs to each day. Off to go clean the potty because this is of course another job of the potty escort.
I will update later about our Fun Halloween festivities.